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Trying to level any serious criticism at director Michael Lembeck's Tooth Fairy
is like four hardened grizzled WW II vets hand-cranking one of those rotating
anti-aircraft guns with four different barrels pointing at a bunch of screaming
Japanese Zeros around so they can blast an orange kitten out of a tree. Except
the kitten is kind of an asshole and it's 1956 so we're not actually at war with
Japan anymore, so you know... maybe it's not the worst idea in the world.Dwayne
"the Rock" Johnson plays Derek "the Tooth Fairy" Johnson, the beloved bruising
left-winger on the local minor hockey team. He started as a skill player, a
dangler, an offensive prospect that had his dreams dashed by a shoulder injury,
and he's now happy to play a couple of minutes a night, hammer the opponents'
star player, and spend the rest of the game in his custom recliner in the
penalty box. He's a cartoon pragmatist, dispensing hard truths about the
impossibility of dreams coming true to young hockey players wanting to be just
like him.As a result, he is summoned to Fairyland, and sentenced by head fairy
Lily (Julie Andrews) to two weeks' duty as a Tooth Fairy, a real-deal winged
creeper with a bat-belt full of spy gadgets and a lanky, awkward case worker
with fairy aspirations of his own (Stephen Merchant, co-creator with Ricky
Gervais of The Office). Lessons are learned, a whole bunch of obvious groaner
gags are hatched, and everything, eventually, from a guitarist kid's fear of
failure to a single mom's love to a future hockey star's cockiness and on and on
is resolved in a Really Pleasant Way.It's a kids movie, pure and simple,
endlessly saccharine and full of pratfalls, Healthy Moral Lessons and magic
fairy dust. It's also incredibly dull, and a massive waste of what's actually a
great cast - Merchant is consistently funny and Billy Crystal is in vintage form
as Fairyland's gadgetmaster Q equivalent, and Johnson is as charming as ever.
Six year old kids will probably laugh their six year old heads off, but the
dullness of the script, the predictability of the gags and the moral convenience
and simplicity of the story is going to bore anybody not actually invested in
the "ok wait is there actually a tooth fairy or not, dad" debate.You want this
film to be better, just because it could have been. It's stuffed full of
legitimate talent and it remarkably doesn't feel like a cynical cash-in, it just
feels diluted. It is going to accomplish its ostensibly stated goal,
entertaining children, but outside of a few laughs here and there it's not going
to do much for anyone else. 4/10

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